There is something about turning 47 that bothers the hell out of me…and that is that I can no longer refer to myself as a guy in his mid forties! In fact, people choose to refer to forty seven year olds as ‘almost 50’. Now that’s something..almost 50. Trouble is, I don’t feel that much different than I did when I was in my mid-forties.
Society is especially cruel to those ‘almost 50’. Just last year, my health insurance doubled, they said it was because I fell out of the 18-45 year old bracket, and right into the 46-65 year old bracket, and a potential health risk. Wow, that hurt! So now, I am even more a health risk, having just turned 47!
While on paper, I must seem old, I can still keep up with the best of them. Sure, I enjoy my late mornings, sleeping as late as 8 am, even on weekends, but at 47, I still manage to walk a few km’s each day, and I am reasonably active (for a guy who is ‘almost 50 that is!),and despite my age, I still have my hair (it’s turned grey, but nobody needs to know that as long as I buy my monthly supply of Just for Men)
There are several things a person can do to avoid falling from the ‘late 40’s’ group and into the ‘almost 50’ crowd, and I will try to do these things on a daily basis. Here is the list, in no particular order:
- Avoid engaging in conversations with other 47 yr olds when the topic is the number of bowel movements you may have had in the last day.
- Avoid meeting up with your older friends to chat in shopping malls.
- Avoid spending Sunday afternoon at the mall, hogging the benches outside the drug stores
- Avoid spending most of your days at doctors’ offices
- Do not allow yourself to be seen purchasing any of the following products, even if they are for an older friend: Depends Undergarments, Geritol, A535, Minard’s Liniment, etc.
- Have patience when in the presence of teenagers. Do not be mistaken for ‘that grumpy old man’
- Avoid telling your kids or relatives about what life was like when you were their age. They will think you grew up with cavemen!
- Try to make it a habit of staying up later than 10:00 pm
- Never, under any circumstances do you wear black socks, especially in sandals!
- Make sure your pants are not pulled up under your armpits…sure sign of an old person…someone almost 50!