Do you want cheese on your steak and cheese

Today I decided to eat healthy (for a change). I dropped into Subway to check out their latest offerings. I have this thing where I always eat the newest sub they offer. I know, weird, but hey, I like variety. My missus eats the same sub every time we go to Subway, but call it adventurous, or just call it insane, but oh well.

The special of the day was the latest sub they had to offer, the Steak ‘n Bacon with Cheese. The picture looked great, and that’s the one I wanted, so I went ahead and ordered it. The thing I love about Subway is that you tell the ‘Sandwich Artist’ what you want and they make it for you, no questions asked. The guy must have been new because he annoyed the hell out of me while making my sandwich.

“Whatchuwantonit”, he said, in one word without breaking for air. I said I wanted the same sub that is on the sign over his head. He looked at the ad that hung over him and asked “youwanbacon”? “Is it on the sign? if it is, I want it” I replied.

“youwancheese” God, this guy had his tongue pierced and a huge marble ring attached to it, and it did hell for his linguistics. “Is cheese on the sign?” “youwanlettuz”? “The Sign…Look at the damn sign. I want that sub, so yes I want lettuce, I want cheese, I want bacon.”

“Youwansteak”? He asked “Steak? This is a damn steak, bacon, and cheese sub dummy!” “READ THE SIGN”

There is another sign on the wall, next to the one this idiot was not reading properly.

“Eat Subway, It’s the Healthy Choice”

What is healthy about a heart attack? Thats what this dumbass was about to give me!

When I finally got  my sub, I admit it was good, but all this grief when there was a sign directly above the guy..GOD!!!

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Out with the DQ Guy

Television commercials always annoyed me, but none have ever gotten on my goat as much as the recent commercials from that DQ moron. A guitar that sounds like a dolphin? Kittens in bubbles? C’mon, that don’t make sense at all. I believe the PR guys at Dairy Queen have discovered their next menu sensation, MJ Brownies. How else could they have come up with such silly ads? .

As much as I hate Mr. McDonald, with his giant clown shoes and fake smile, I would take an hour listening to his McDonald’s banter over five minutes with Mr. Good isn’t good enough To get back to my plea. If any of you bloggers are like me, fed up with the nonsense of those stupid commercials, give me a ‘Hell Yeah’ and get in line, it’s “Clobbering Time”

People who don’t fully clear snow from their cars

It was snowing this morning. Yes, it is April 16, but for some reason, someone up there (in the heavens) thought it would be funny to cover the town with a blanket of wet sloppy snow. I am not laughing. Anyway, back to the pet peeve.  We were out this morning, doing some shopping, when this idiot came at us in full force, almost hit the two of us in our little black Chevy Cobalt. It turns out that this genius forgot to clean the snow from his car. There he drove, with an eyehole resembling that of a tank, only big enough for one eye, and at full rush, he maneuvered in and around us and a few other lucky motorists. For the love of God….it only takes a few minutes to clear snow (especially the sloppy wet stuff) from your windshield and back window. Oh, forgot, he didn’t have the back window cleared either…That’s it, another annoyance that I have to manage to live with…People..your cars are not TANKS! Clean the window off for heaven’s sake! That’s All!

Drivers who choose to light up and drive

Another of the things that drive me nuts are people who choose to smoke while they drive. C’mon, I know smoking may be addictive, but can you at least wait until you are stopped to smoke? Just watching drivers attempt to maneuver around a dangerous turn with a lit cigarette between their fingers gives me the willies.  It’s a wonder that they don’t singe their eyebrows with the glowing ember at the end of the smoke stick they so eloquently hold so dear. Health Canada is now warning drivers that health risks from smoking increase when you smoke in your car. This isn’t rocket science – imagine smoking in a closet with the doors closed. Smoking in a car is actually much worst than this, and some countries, including England, have made it illegal to smoke in a car, claiming that Health care costs are through the roof because of choices that smokers make while driving.

This silly habit is also a major distraction to drivers. That is why many provinces across the country are looking at legislation against smoking while driving. Now thought to be as distracting as texting or using a cell, it could be yet another reason for the number of deaths on our highways.

I remember when I was a kid, everyone smoked. Hell, you could buy candy cigerattes and pretend that you smoked just to be cool. I used to eat two packs of Popeye Smokes each day, until I got too many cavaties, and had to cut back!

My  reasons for the pet peeve are a little different than the above reasons. I still recall one day, my dad and I were going to town in his old Dodge Club Cab pickup. I was sitting in the extra cool seat in the back, the one that folded down in the corner. My dad stopped to pick up my cousin, who was hitching a ride to town. Now my cousin smoked like a trooper.  It was a hot day, and when he got in the truck, he opened his window. When he finished his smoke, he threw the butt, still afire, out the window. Unknown to me, the butt blew back into the truck, and into the cuff of my pants. The three of us wondered what the terrible smell was, until I noticed my leg was smoking. In no time at all, my pants leg was on fire (This was in the Polyester slacks days of the mid 70’s, and every one wore those cool pants) I had to strip my pants off and throw them out the window of the truck. The pants leg, now melting to the rest of the pants, landed in the back of the truck, where my dad used to haul firewood, and you know the rest. We had to pull over, and throw out the pants and the bits of wood that had caught fire. This incident could have been much worst, but thanks to lots of luck, my dad’s quick reflexes, and really cheap polyester pants, we all faired pretty well. Now you know why I hate seeing people smoking while they drive…

Automatic Toilets *Warning, Bathroom type language

they have the dumbest thing here at work…automatic toilets. these things never work right. when I enter the stall, the damn thing automatically flushes twice. when I start lining the seat ( I do that here because you never know whose butt sits on the seat or where that butt was before it sat there) the toilet flushes another time. when I actually sit on the seat, it flushes again. when the job is finally done, it won’t flush! there I stand, waving my hand across the sensor light, hoping to set the flusher on, and nothing. only once I leave the bathroom, I hear a flushing sound in the distance…How far we have come, can’t even flush by ourselves. Equally annoying is the automatic soap dispenser. Ever since having this amazing convenience, I enter other bathrooms, and put my hand under the dispenser, waiting for non existent soap to magically appear. We are so lazy as a civilation.