Month: January 2017

A tale of two cars

car

“…AND FURTHERMORE, IF THOSE OLD CARS ARE NOT GONE BY THE END OF THE DAY, I AM TAKING THE KIDS AND LEAVING!” His wife yelled.

Charlie left her standing there, and headed to the garage to polish the  beautiful antique cars he bought with the couple’s life savings.

“It’s an investment.” he thought to himself. “Women just don’t understand. I can fix these old cars up and double our money! Imagine the trip we could have then.

“It’s me or the cars” she hollered. “Well, start packing!” he yelled, as he put  For Sale signs on each of the cars.

This little ditty between an otherwise happy couple is my entry into this week’s Friday Fictioneers.

 

 

 

 

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the room at the end of the hall

untitled  PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson

His room was at the end of the hall

a long walk for a little boy.

but he was sent there often

mostly when

his cruel daddy

wanted to

have his way

with the girls in the family.

Why can’t you love me

Daddy,

like you love my sisters?

DO YOU THINK I AM

A SICK MAN?

A MAN DOES NOT USE HIS SONS FOR LOVE,

ONLY HIS DAUGHTERS

AND MAYBE HIS WIFE.

Maybe that’s why

when the little boy grew up

he was

A monster to his sons

and their mother

because she refused

to give him a daughter

This tale of darkness, cruelty and two generations of abuse is my entry into this week’s Friday Fictioneers.

There’s more here…

WOTD Conflate (or The DatsFordev)

Word:

combine (two or more texts, ideas, etc.) into one:
“the urban crisis conflates a number of different economic and social issues”
Last evening, I spoke to a cousin of mine. For the first time in almost 60 years, he is living away from home, working on the big Alberta clean up. This past summer, a huge fire broke out in the area, and labourers from all across the country have been hired to clean the place up. My cousin is one of those hard working individuals. He is really lonesome up there, missing his wife and other family members. I reminisced about the good old days and we shared a few stories that made him laugh and ease his mind until he comes home. Here is one of those stories
The DatsFordev
When I was a kid, my favourite place to hang out was at my cousin Raymond’s house. Being sixteen, I always loved cars, and so did Raymond. He had built a garage on the side of his mom’s house, used the place to paint and repair cars.
Raymond was a few years older than I was, and was quite the comical individual. I could share a hundred funny stories, but today I want to focus on just one. The story of the DatsFordev.
I guess I have you confused now. Don’t worry, I will explain. You see, back in the day, there were tons of cars scrapped in various lots and in back yards everywhere. One day, Ray decided to gather a bunch of parts, and put them together to make a car. He had bought a little Datsun B201 for a hundred dollars or so, but the thing was a junk heap. (Back then, Datsun, Toyota, etc. were just beginning to sell in the country, and their quality was not up to par with the other cars of the time. Remember, this was the early 80’s)
I dropped down to Raymond’s place to find him in the garage, welding various parts to the back of the little car. He switched out the Datsun tail lights with those from an old Ford Maverick, he had a Chevy Nova grill on the front, and get this, he attached a Chevy Vega trunk lid to the back end of the little car, using of all things, Barn door hinges he snitched from his dad’s barn.
The surprising thing about this car, despite all the parts conflated together, the thing didn’t look all that bad. Raymond finished his work with a paint job using left over paint he mixed together. The colour, which consisted of at least ten different colours, turned out to be a nice shade of gold.
And then, he decided to put the thing up for sale. I thought he would never sell it, as to me, it looked like a pile of junk; but you know what they say about one man’s junk….
This guy showed up to buy it, he was some excited. “What is it? I never seen one of these before!” he said, excited.
“My own creation, made it from parts of several good vehicles” Raymond lied.
The guy proudly drove out of the driveway while Raymond and I laughed our heads off. “Got rid of all that junk, and he even paid me to take it.” Raymond bragged.
Sometimes I wonder what happened to that guy and his little ‘hybrid’. I bet he had a hell of a time licensing the car when the plates ran out. After all, what would you call it?

WOTD Gewgaw

DEFINITION: a trinket or bauble; something gaudy, of little value and use.

SENTENCE: The colonists handed out a variety of gewgaws to the natives on the two islands.

As of late, I have been checking out Twitter. I am totally amazed at the number of times the President Elect tweets his usual GewGaw. If he isn’t lashing out at a celebrity, he is sending offensive comments to very powerful countries like China. The guy really has to get the hell off of twitter.

A few weeks back, he was offended by jokes by Adam Baldwin, who, in my mind looks more like Trump than Trump does. This past week, he lashed out at Meryl Streep’s comments during her award speech. I am very afraid of what could happen in our neighbouring country if this keeps on. I even wrote a little poem to explain my fears.

There’s trouble coming

I kid you not!

He’s gonna ruin what we got.

He’s got a bad doo

and a worse attitude.

I am here to warn you

about this dude!

They gave him the house

they gave him the fame

and I’ll tell you somethin’,

they even gave him THE button.

He got the bucks, so he thinks he’s the man

pickin’ on things he doesn’t understand,

He’s rootin’ in a hornet’s nest

puttin’ our patience to a test.

If that don’t make you shiver,

This guy is quite terrible

think ’bout the Chinese and Koreans

and even poor Meryl

he’s calling them out

on Twitter.

The man needs a sitter!

Next word: Conflate

WOTD Challenge

During a trip to the local Dollar store, something my wife truly enjoys, I actually found something amongst the normal junk in the store. I found a Word of the Day calendar for 2017. Being somewhat of a word freak, this is right up my alley. I vow to write a post each and every day, based on the word of the day. This is my New Years Resolution…and we all know how that usually turns out. No matter, I shall do my best to keep this one. The $3.00 I paid for the calendar is a hell of a lot cheaper than that treadmill clothes hanger I bought last January.

The word of the day for December 10, the word is Passel (Noun)

DEFINITION: a group of individuals or objects of unspecified number.

SENTENCE: The Celebrity showed up four hours late with his usual passel of hangers-on.

Speaking of words, I have this thing about poor spelling. My brother and his wife, and the missus and I went to dinner  Friday, at a local bar/eatery. I am not normally a fan of those places, given my shellfish allergy, but the owner of the place, a huge man who spends more time at the gym than he does at his restaurant, promised me shellfish is cooked in it’s own fryer, everything else is cooked in another fryer, in another room.

The bar owner, and  his everyday Passel  of gym goers, sat at the bar glancing over to our table. “Go ahead and order whatever you like, I guarantee you need not worry about getting sick in here.” he assured me. I believed him. Great food.

The missus and I ordered wings and potato skins. While glancing at the menu, my prying eyes noticed a spelling error. Not just an error, but something that sent everyone at our table into a fit of laughter…well, maybe not everyone, but my brother and myself for sure.

Desert Menu (Yes, Desert….like the place with sand and scorpions)

Lemon Morang Pie…………………………………$3.50

(Gotta have me some of that Mo Rang Pie!)

and on the appetizer menu

Latts Fries. (Gotta love those Latts)

I have been known to point out menu spelling errors, but did I mention the big guy sitting at the bar?  I decided to not tell him about this…Hey, maybe I should buy him one of those calendars….

Tomorrow’s word:Gewgaw