Month: May 2013

Marley’s Adventure!

This morning was beautiful. The sun was shining, and from the window, I could see the neighbor’s cat playing in the field. My food was waiting for me when I woke up, and after a great meal we went on a car ride.

The ride was so long, I decided to take a nap. When I woke up, I was terrified! I wasn’t home,  I wasn’t  even in my bed; rather, I found myself in a cage!

I was in a cage! Wow, what a letdown. No goodbyes, no kisses, just a short nap and I am in a cage. Kind of makes you wonder!

The cage was sitting on  a large table, along with all sorts of packages and luggage. A tall man came over and took the cage I was sitting in, and loaded it on a plane. I was so scared I think I may have passed out.

When I came to, I hoped that this was all a bad nightmare and that I would be safe and sound in my old bed. I was wrong, boy was I wrong!

When I opened my eyes, I was still  in the cage, but strange people were peering into the cage, using silly words like “awe” and “cute”. Just then the door to my cage was opened and a stranger’s hand came in and took me. I was so scared!

The stranger wasn’t all that mean after all. She was a very pretty lady who took me into her arms and cuddled me. There were others there as well, one of them  even took my picture. The lady and her man then took me outside so that I could pee. God knows I needed to pee! They praised me for peeing, and cuddled  me again. Maybe this wasn’t so bad after all.

I got to go for a long car  ride again, and this time we stopped at a beautiful house in a large green yard. There were others there as well, and  we all played together. I had another pee and even  a poop, and again I was praised.  They called me by a different  name  than I was used to, but hey, if you get praised for pooping,  who really cares what they call you?

I think I am going  to like it here, I think I will stay!

Meet Marley. Marley is an 11 week old Sheltland Sheepdog that we adopted from Shelhaven Shelties, a kennel from Rawdon, Nova Scotia. Marley arrived on the 4:30 flight and we were there to take her home. I imagine she will be the topic of many blog posts.

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Charlie’s story

I seem  to have the uncanny ‘gift’ of meeting people and them relaying their entire life story to me. This happened again today while I was at the Toyota dealership having my truck serviced.

I noticed this older gentleman walking around quite lost. I myself was not from  the city, and since the wait was  so long,  I decided to say hello. When I spoke he immediately picked up my accent (I speak  English with a very strong french accent), and asked where  I lived. He related to me that he knew people from  my community but he had been living away from home so long that he doubted anyone would remember him.

Charlie (not his real name) told me that back in the early sixties he had a job on the old  Ernest Harmon  Air Force base in  Stephenville. He said that he was paid twenty nine cents per hour and that he worked seven days per week, twelve hours a day. He went on  to say that he didn’t like the hours so he made a decision to leave the province and join the Canadian forces.

He said that he met his wife in Ontario, a very beautiful and loving woman who remained married to him until the day she died. She was killed in a tragic automobile accident. Charlie went silent for a few minutes while I offered my condolences on the passing of his wife.

Charlie eased my mind by telling me that she passed away on May 25, 2001, and then he went silent again. I noticed tears falling at that point. “That’s why my daughter called me on Saturday…I guess I always celebrate our wedding anniversary, I always visit her grave and place flowers on her birthday too, but a guy just doesn’t want to celebrate the day his beautiful wife died. you understand, don’t you?” I agreed that I totally understood.

Charlie went on to  say that he served as an electrician  at several bases throughout the sixties, and when he couldn’t take the travel any longer, he left the army to work as a finance officer with HFC. He worked there until he retired.

Charlie explained that ever  since he and his wife were first married, he always wanted a Jeep. He said that even though he wanted the vehicle, it just wasn’t  handy. Not  with two daughters and a son, so his dream of owning a Jeep never came true. Not until his wife’s will was read, and in  it she stated that he would take the entire  $50,000 from her life insurance policy, and buy a jeep.

He argued with his daughters on this one, he couldn’t  take money he received from the will and waste it on a Jeep, but they talked him into it. Charlie said that his wife always said that one day they would own that jeep, so after weeks of milling it through his head, he finally visited the Chrysler dealership and bought it. Fully loaded, candy apple red. She  would have loved it.

Charlie said that the thing was quite the gas guzzler and that although it was his dream car, the dream was worthless without his lovely wife to share it with. He cried again. This time I took his hand and got him  to sit down. He told me all about  his darling Theresa, and how they got along so well, never fighting, always in love. He said that every May he gets like this.

When he settled down, he said that he kept the Jeep until  it rusted to the road, and then  he visited the Toyota dealership to buy a Corolla. Now he saves enough gas to visit his daughters who live in Ontario. He took a good look at my truck, and loved the color. He said that maybe this will be his next purchase.

I asked how he was doing with his wife gone, and he said that he did meet another woman,  just last summer,  but she could never replace his Theresa. Just then a lady came into the dealership and  walked over to Charlie.

“Hope you aren’t boring  this poor young man with your war stories!”  she said. She apologized for anything he might have said, but I reassured her that he told wonderful stories, and that I was happy to be an audience for him. Charlie shook my hand and the two of them drove off. I felt that he left me with such a beautiful story,  that I should write it here on my blog. Hope you enjoyed it.

The truth behind the nursery rhyme

“There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn’t know what to do;
She gave them some broth without any bread;
Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.”

Lets examine  this situation before we call Child Services…

Some  old lady lives in a place so dirty and stinky she refers to it as a shoe

She knows nothing about birth control

There is no mention of a father for those children

she practically starves her kids, denying them even bread

then she whips them and puts them to bed.

Child abuse maybe?

Honesty?

It seems to me that these days, honesty is an attribute that is hard to find. I found proof of this while doing my home renovations.

We visited several building supply stores before settling on the one who gave the best prices and had the most  stock. I approached the owner, who agreed that if I purchased all  my lumber, etc at his store,  he would give me a 15% discount on everything. That was a great deal, but I also asked if he would guarantee the lowest prices,  which he did.

When it came time to make my order, my contractor and I visited the store. We provided a list of items and were given good prices, so we agreed and the items were delivered.

When we took notice, the guys who unloaded our stuff gave us a few extra items. I had two pieces 2x6x12 pressure treated lumber that I didn’t pay for. The total for the two boards was around $30. My contractor was surprised when I said that I was going to return them  and inform  the store owner of the error. “He will never know that you have them” was his reply.

My reply to this was that  I will know. How do I explain the importance of honesty to my son  if I knowingly keep those boards? My contractor was surprised, but said that it proved I had character. Hey, I was raised honest!

We ended up using the spare lumber,  so it was good that they gave them to me. The next time I was in town  I visited the building supply store.  When I went in, the manager  was at the cash, along with a few employees including the guy who unloaded the truck.

“I need these four things, and while you are at it, could you please charge me for two pieces of 12 foot 2×6 pt  lumber?” I asked, “I won’t be taking  them home, you dropped them off to my home by accident.”  I got strange looks  from  everyone. “Excuse me, you want me to charge you for lumber you aren’t taking?” the manager asked. The worker who left them at my home looks at everyone, including the  manager and says “You are Effing Crazy. I would have kept them, who would know?” I reply to him that I would know.

The manager awarded my honesty with a gift certificate for ten percent off certain items in the store, which I refused to take. While I was at it, I had to order eight twelve foot fence  boards for the patio we were  working on. The manager offered free delivery. I accepted his offer.

When I got home, I noticed that the lumber was already delivered. Instead of  the eight pieces  I paid for, there were twelve pieces of lumber piled next to the patio. At first I feared that by alerting the store  manager, the employee who made  both  mistakes and advised that I was insane for returning the boards might lose his job over this,  but I came to the realization that he should have done  a better job  and that giving me more than I paid  for was not doing anybody any good.

Immediately I called the store. I spoke to the manager.  “You guys are making it hard to be honest!” I said. “Why Ted? Is there something wrong with your order?” he asked.

“You gave me four pieces that I didn’t pay for. I cannot bring them back as they are too long to fit in my truck, but if you want to drop by and pick them up, they will be right here where they were left.  I advised. He was dumbfounded. He said that in his line of work, they just don’t  see honesty like this. My reply was that if everyone was this honest, lumber and building materials would be much less expensive. He agreed. As for his employee, I think he was fired.

What an ordeal! In the end,  we finished the patio and it looks great. My conscience is clean, and I can be proud that I did the right thing.

Renovations are done!

After two months of constant work, I can happily say that our renovations are finally finished (for the year).

We replaced all our windows and exterior doors, replaced all interior doors, casings and moldings, and added a large patio out front.  We were very fortunate to have the services of an  excellent carpenter, as his work was outstanding and his rates were quite unbelievable.

With the patio, we gave him full control of the design. I was almost afraid to how much it would cost, but he kept the prices to a minimum while still managing to deliver quite a beautiful deck.

My neighbor commented that I had a big deck. I said “aw, I have a girlfriend and I am quite happy with her,  but thanks for the compliment!” (that was a VERY bad joke!)

Anyway, with the renovations finished, and most of the mess cleaned up, I think I shall have a cold one out on the front deck! Check out the pictures!!

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Inventions and contraptions

While driving on  the highway today I noticed that the car in front of me was towing a trailer. All of a sudden, the trailer (which was used to transport a deep freeze) began bobbing up and down  and all over the place, eventually dumping the deep freeze into the ditch. I pulled over to see if the now puzzled driver was okay.

When I checked his trailer hitch, I was surprised to see that he never had a hitch, but rather, he had attached his trailer to the back of his Honda Civic using a rubber bungee cord. “I can’t figure out why it never worked” he said. 150 lb freezer on a 500lb trailer, attached to the bumper  of his car with a flexible bungee cord? I can’t see why it didn’t work either..NOT!

People seem to come  up with the dumbest contraptions  sometimes. I once seen a guy attempting to plow his snow covered driveway with a homemade snow plow. It was made from plywood, with two pieces of two by four nailed (Yes, Nailed) to his front bumper of a rusted out old Malibu. I had to stop  and watch. He took a big run and WHAM! parts of his plywood contraption, as well as his bumper, went flying everywhere. Talk about your splinters. Some smart, huh?

Talking about plywood, I seen a plywood Oldsmobile once. Apparently the thing had rusted badly, and since the guy was a better carpenter than a body man, he decided to fabricate plywood fenders and doors for his car. Some heavy. He then gave it a custom paint job with a roller on  a sunny day. We newfies are  some smart bye!

 

Last request

A friend just told me this joke.

A Newfoundlander, on his death bed, made the following request:

When I die, bury me face down.

That way, I can see where I am going, and the rest of the world can kiss my ass!

still busy…

For the past few weeks I have been slack when it comes to my blog. We are knee deep in home renovations. I do manage to check out the works of others (Hey, I gotta have SOME enjoyment!)

You will have to excuse my little sister, she bites…

My ten year old son just began playing with a few kids from  the community.  A family who lives nearby has two children, a boy and a girl. The boy is eleven, while the little girl is just seven. These kids are ROUGH!

A few years ago our son visited with the boy, whose name is Tommy. When he came home, he told of a very cool movie he and Tommy watched. ‘The Scorpion King’! He had nightmares for weeks! I was appalled by the fact that this kid’s parents allowed their kid to watch the movie, let alone allowing our kid to watch it without even calling us first. We swore he wouldn’t be going back there for quite a while.

Anyway Tommy seems to have grown  up a bit. I say that jokingly. He came over in our yard armed with a home made bow and arrow, with another under his arm that he made for my boy, and had plans to go small game hunting in our yard.

What he didn’t realize is that our yard is a no kill zone  for everything short of mosquitoes and house flies. I caught up with the two of them at in the driveway and explained our rules. Tommy couldn’t believe it that we actually fed birds and squirrels. When he seen that the birds were so tame that they ate from my hand, he was amazed.

Kids these days are so violent! When I asked  what his favorite activity was, he explained that his parents just bought him the new Call of Duty game. This is a game rated M for mature. Doesn’t  this mean anything to parents?

Anyway,  the kids were out back playing when all of a sudden we heard the screams. The neighbor’s little girl (who looked like she was raised by wolves, long matted hair looked like it was never cut or combed) had her teeth clamped on my son’s arm. I ran to his rescue, hollering at  her to let go.  When she did let go, her and Tommy (who had his sights set on a little mother robin in her nest)  were both sent home and not welcomed back.

These days it is so difficult to raise kids. Parents  no longer have the right to discipline their children, and it seems  as if the kids are aware of  this. We use grounding  for one sort of discipline, but we  are  usually the ones  punished when we have to listen to the complaining and grumbling from our kid, but I feel that is our job  as parents to act like  adults. Tommy and his sister spend most of their time in front  of the television  playing violent games, and  it really shows  on  them. While some  games are educational, it seems that  the kids refuse  to play them in favor of the the shooting and killing  varieties. This troubles me greatly. Just saying…