Friday Fictioneers: The Third Chair

Copyright-Melanie Greenwood

The third wheel; they called her. Where ever Sally and Tom went, Suzie would follow. This may have been cool for Tom, who got to brag about the two luscious blondes who accompanied him, but it was no party for Sally.

It wasn’t that Sally didn’t want her sister around, but c’mon, on an evening where she expected Tom to propose to her? That’s just too much.

Still, when Sally arrived at the restaurant, there it was, a table and three chairs.

On that night, to Sally’s surprise, Tom popped the question to his one true love… Suzie.

This is my entry into this week’s Friday Fictioneers.

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The Guy’s Guide to Christmas Shopping

It’s that time again, that’s right, the time where guys spend their much valued time wandering aimlessly in shopping malls, grabbing anything they can find, in hopes of making their loved ones happy at Christmas.

If you are like me, there is nothing like last minute shopping to drive you over the edge, but we still do it. I don’t think it has anything to do with laziness, but it may have something to do with all the sports on TV this time of year. Whatever your excuse, stay tuned for a list of gift suggestions that you can give your sweetheart on Christmas morning.

1. Women LOVE perfume, so make sure to visit the local bargain store, and buy lots of perfume. If you are lucky, you can pick up the 1 litre (3.8 gallon for anyone outside Canada) bottle for under a dollar, and your sweetheart will love you forever (and smell like your aunt Myrtle)
2. Clothing. Need I say more? If you visit thrift stores this time of year, you are bound to find a ton of nice clothes for pennies.If you are real lucky, you may even find a sexy piece of flannel lingerie that will show your woman how much you care.
3. Gift certificates for Curves and Weight Watchers. Nothing says “I care” like a three month pass to some weight loss program. Your lady will know just how much you care when you tell her how great she could look if she joined these fine organizations.
4. Candy. The local bulk store has a ton of delicious candy that you can buy for very low prices. Look for the imported (from Hong Kong) candies that resemble the more popular varieties.
5. A puppy. Even better, visit the local pound and bring home that one animal nobody wants, the one who has been known to pee on furniture and poop on the patio. Your woman will love the challenge of teaching this new addition to the family how to follow her rules.
6. Power tools. What woman wouldn’t want an electric drill or even better, the newest cordless variety that you can borrow when you have some odd job that needs doing? Or better still, you can get her to do it now that she has her own power tools.
7. Cleaning supplies. Your woman will be proud to call you hers when you give her the latest cleaning supplies. Mr. Clean Ultra, a new sponge mop and maybe a broom will have her grinning ear to ear on this Christmas morning.
8. Appliances. Now I know what you are thinking. Expensive! That’s where you are wrong. Visiting second hand stores, a guy can find perfectly salvageable appliances that he can fix up for his woman. Even better idea, give her broken appliances, and she can fix them herself with the new power tools you bought her…now that’s a smart idea.
9. A snow shovel. Your mate will be in awe when she sees that you went all out and bought her the best shovel you could find at Friendly Mart. If you really want to impress her, you can delegate her to do all the snow shoveling this year. Yeah you are da man
10. Home made goodies are always a great choice as gifts for the festive season. Want to be a real man and have your lady know exactly how lucky she is to have you? Try printing a few recipes off the ol’ interweb. Make sure the food is stuff you like, like beer snacks for you and your buddies

There you are; a few great gift ideas that will have your lady carrying you around like a king through the entire Christmas season. Don’t thank me until you try the list. Merry Christmas from Sightsnbytes