Month: May 2016

wood

He hated that place. It wasn’t because his mother made him attend each and every Sunday morning, and it wasn’t because of the super boring sermons the old Padre presented each week. It was because of those seats.

Fashioned from solid birch, the seats were especially unforgiving. Frankly, they hurt his back. It was hard to keep still. He either slid out of them, or he squirmed endlessly, prompting his mom to insist he keep quiet.

These days, he still tries to stay away. Again, not because of the preacher’s sermons, but this time because of his damn Hemorrhoids. Ouch!

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This story of discomfort in the Lords’s place, is my entry into this week’s Friday Fictioneers. Click on the link for more stories.

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Ignoring the Prime Directive

starship

“Kirk, remember the Prime Directive! We cannot land here, the inhabitants will be forever affected by our presence!” warned Spock.

“The Dilithium Crystals are breaking down. We need to recharge them using the planet’s Nuclear energy!” yelled Scotty, the ship’s engineer.

While the men scoured the planet for a suitable power source, it’s inhabitants barely noticed the huge starship that lay parked on the city streets.

“Capteen, the people are walking blindly, staring into their communicators!” warned Chekov.

“When we have enough energy, get us out of here, apparently there is no intelligent life here on this planet!” said Kirk.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

The latest episode of Star Trek, and an insight into how many things we miss by staring into our cell phones and tablets….is my entry into this week’s Friday Fictioneers. Click on the froggy for more stories…and Beam me outta here!

 

 

 

 

enough shit

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“Daddy, fix the TV please” begged his seven year old daughter. “The lines are all squiggly!” “Fix it Daddy, Please?” she asked.

He knew fixing the damn satellite wasn’t as easy as she thought, but being such a loving father, he did his best.

He knew the problem before he even went up. Three stories later he reached the roof top.

“Just as I thought, those frigging birds shit on the satellite dish again.” he muttered.

Suddenly he had a revelation.

“That’s it! I ‘m cutting the cord!”

“Just let those stupid birds try shitting on my Android TV Box.”

This story of cord cutting and a daddy’s love is my entry into this week’s Friday Fictioneers.

click on the froggy for more stories.

 

 

 

 

don’t get me drunk!

When he met her, she was this sweet little thing. He seen her first when he visited the school library. There she was, her blonde hair in a pony tail, tied up in a bun. The polka dot dress she wore was so long it touched the tips of her toes, and she was so very quiet. She moved quietly from one shelf to the next, putting the old books back where they belonged.

He made frequent visits to the library, more than he ever made before. In fact, he was so shy, he rarely went anywhere in the school except for home room, where he sat in the corner of the class, rarely making a sound. The other kids made fun of him all the time, calling him cruel names and even pushing him when they passed.

He never made friends easily, and even the teachers avoided him. His marks were poor, and he was often unclean. One would guess he might be a victim of abuse, but nobody ever seen his parents. He just seemed to show up one day, and nobody took the time to talk to him, or even ask him where he came from.

Acne pimples covered his face, which was about the only thing normal about this thirteen year old kid. His hair was greasy and his clothing was often tattered. He seemed very uncomfortable around other kids his age, but not around Kathy, the school librarian.

After so many attempts to gain her attention, Freddy decided to try something different. Going against everything he ever did, he simply got up, walked up to the desk and asked her out.

“How about you and me get out of here this afternoon? Go for coffee?” he asked, not a quiver in his voice.

At first she appeared surprised, but she quickly warmed up to him. “Me? You want to have coffee with me?” she asked, obviously surprised.

“Okay, but I don’t want coffee, it keeps me up. I would rather a soda, at your house.”

Freddy didn’t know what to say. At thirteen, he was just getting started with girls. He certainly wasn’t ready to have her over. Besides, with his parents out of town, and his older brother home ‘taking care’ of him, he didn’t want to be embarrassed. But she asked to come to his house.

“Sure, but it will have to be after seven. My brother goes to work then and I really don’t want him around.” he said.

“I will be there at 7:30. but I must warn you, don’t try anything Okay?. Don’t be like those other guys and think you can sneak alcohol in my drink and take advantage of me. I like you, lets keep it that way!” she advised.

Freddy couldn’t wait for the school day to end. “Imagine, the prettiest girl in school, one who is actually a senior, three years older than me, wants to come to my house, on the first date!” he thought.

That night, Freddy shooed his brother out the door as quickly as he could. Once he knew he was alone, he washed his hair, and put on some of his dad’s aftershave. He made sure he had plenty of ice, and brought out two glasses, and set them on the table. He walked the floor, waiting for the door bell to ring. At quarter past eight, the doorbell chimed.

He peered through the window and watched her. Her hair, now hanging loose, was shoulder length. She wore a dress quite different than the one she had on today, this one tight and very short. She wore high heels that made her appear much taller than he remembered, and as she waited, she coated her lips with the reddest lipstick.

Freddy was quick to open the door, his heart beating out of his chest. “Come on in” he invited, almost too excited to talk.

When she came in, there was something different about her. “I need a drink, I am so nervous, just pop please, no alcohol!” she admitted.

Freddy went to the kitchen, and poured up each a glass of soda. he filled each glass with ice, and before bringing the drinks into the living room, he had a devious idea.

He remembered her specifically stating that she didn’t want him to get her drunk. Was this an invitation for him to do it? After all, he never mentioned anything about alcohol, she was the one who brought it up. Was she expecting him to try something? Did she want alcohol? Did she want to get drunk, maybe let loose? He couldn’t take the chance on missing out on such a great plan. After all, look at how she is dressed!

He went to his dad’s liquor cabinet and found the bottle of Vodka. He remembered his dad commenting on how easy it was to sneak the stuff into his afternoon coffee. No smell, just the warm feeling in your gut.

At first he thought of abandoning the entire idea, but he fought against it. He poured two shot glasses of Vodka into her pop, and headed out to her side.

“Here’s to us” he said, praying she didn’t smell the booze. She gulped the entire glass down. “Could I have another, I am parched!” she said.

In seconds, he had her glass refilled, this time with even more booze. After three glasses, he knew she was drunk.

Just then, something happened. Her fingers, once dainty, began to grow. The nails grew, stretching to nearly double their length. Her once perfect mouth grew wide, and her teeth fell out. Her hair turned a cold grey, and her eyes seemed to pop from their sockets. Her once perfect body became that of a monster, the bones nearly sticking from her clothes. Her feet also grew, and her entire body became covered in hair.

“I asked you not to get me drunk. Look at what you did to me! I asked you, but you wouldn’t listen. You are just like all the other boys! Now you will live to regret your dishonesty” she said, her voice raspy and coarse.

“Regret it? Are you kidding?, You are beautiful!” he said, his own body going through similar changes.

In minutes, the setting of the room changed drastically. No longer were there two young people, their innocence and youth making them beautiful. In fact, now the room appeared to surround two monsters, something out of a horror movie.

“You are the woman I waited for my entire life” he said, his long tongue slithering across his pimple infused face.

The two monsters locked in embrace and together, they created the next generation of beasts. When they finished, their bodies began to change back to their original form.

“See you at school tomorrow?” he asked.

“Sure thing, I will be there all day!” she said, excited.