“Is Cliffie there? I want to speak to Cliffie!”
I am sorry, you have the wrong number
“I don’t have the wrong number, idiot! Now put Cliffie on the phone NOW!”
Insane person recites Cliffie’s phone number, which is exactly the same as my new cell phone number. Apparently Ole Cliffie must have either lost his phone, or didn’t pay his bill and lost his number. I recently got a new iphone and this is the number that telus provided me with.
Ma’am, this is no longer Cliffie’s number. Now please stop calling here.
[in a VERY drunken voice] “P-P-Put C-l-i-f-f-i-e on N-o-w!”
He isn’t here
“Where is he”?
How should I know. now please hang up!
“C-L-I-F-F-I-E! Please come homeeeee………”
The drunk lady finally hangs up. I finally settle down and try to sleep….at 3:30 a.m.
Until 4:00 a.m. that is.
“CLIFFIE! Some asshole said that you weren’t here. He won’t let me talk to you! I am calling the cops Cliffie!”
Lady, its no use calling the cops. Cliffie doesn’t own this number. Please go to sleep and leave me alone!
After three more calls, she finally settles down. I have half an hour sleep and it is time to get up for work.
As I am eating my breakfast, the damn iPhone rings again. I am ready to throw the thing thru the window.
“This is Cliffie. I hear you have been giving my Friens a hard time, you F**ker!!!” he says, in a very drunken voice.
Why are you calling me? this isn’t your damn number!
“I know. I don’t have a phone. I got D-D-Drunk once and lost the thing. telus took away my number, and all my ladies still have the number. can you take messages for me?”
I am dropping by Telus this evening. I have to get that number changed!