My double is evil!

They say everyone has a double. Some believe it to be true, some deny it. I know it to be true. Ask anyone here in this small town, they will agree…

My double lives in the same town as I do….and he is a criminal, a con artist, and an outright idiot. Every time I get a haircut, he seems to do the same. Everywhere I go I am asked whether I have a twin or if I am related to this jerk. Once, I almost got killed because someone that he ripped off thought I was him. I had to show ID before the big ape would let go of my neck.

You may think I am joking, I am not. I am totally serious. I don’t actually see the resemblance, but enough people have mistaken me for this guy that it makes me wonder. I have to admit, it is scary to say the least.

Once, this guy sold a poor family his minivan. Problem was, he didn’t own it in the first place. He had a loan from the bank, and without a single payment, he unloaded the thing on the unsuspecting family who desperately needed it. When asked, the guy said that he bought it because he knew I was an honest man, and that he thought he was buying it from ME. He didn’t know me very well…I would never own a Dodge, I am a Toyota Man.

This dumbass who is lucky enough to look like me has been getting me in trouble all my life. When I was just seventeen, the two of us were dating sisters. That’s how I met the guy. When someone seen him cheating on his girl, they mistakenly identified me as the cheater. My girl wouldn’t believe me, seeing how it was her MOTHER who seen him with this other girl.

I almost lost a job once because this guy came into my place of employment and STOLE something in broad daylight. The new guy at work figured he was me. Next day I get called into the front office by the boss as he urged me to confess. Of course I wasn’t even in town on that day.

Just seeing him walk up the street makes me sick. When people approach me and ask if I am related to him, or if I am him, I could scream. So annoying. Thankfully my lady doesn’t see the resemblance. She said that while he is my height and build, she doesn’t think I look like him…or he looks like me. God Love her!

Right now I am waiting for something. Last time I seen him, he had a huge bald spot on the back of his head. Any day now, the rest of his hair will fall out and we will look different…unless some stupid person comes up and comments me on my new wig! ARRRGH!

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