I had to break loose and buy a new toothbrush. The dentist gave me my last one. When I was a kid, the dentist used to give you a sucker if you were good. What a scam! Candy to rot your teeth, and then pay a fortune to have it fixed. I had an even worst dentist. When I was eight, the idiot actually drilled my GOOD teeth, and then billed my parents for the filling. My brother and sister suffered the same fate. Now neither of us have molars. The guy is a rich man, and we can’t chew!
I went to the local pharmacy figuring to find a toothbrush right away. Nothing fancy. I don’t like the powered toothbrushes. I always figured that it was lazy to use an electric toothbrush when I have a perfectly good arm (well two actually!).
I cruised down the toothbrush aisle (there are actually enough different toothbrushes to have their own aisle at Walmart!) figuring to grab the first one I seen and go home, but no such luck. There were literally hundreds of different brushes on the shelf. Some were made to reach deep in your mouth, some had two or more heads that moved independently (like the rear axle on my truck), some had nylon bristles, some plastic, some were battery powered, some glowed in the dark (why I don’t know), one even played music so that you could brush to the beat (almost like sweatin’ to the oldies).
The selection of colours were endless, brand names were numerous; Oral-B and Crest, Colgate and Equate, No-name, even Listerine had a toothbrush (bet it tasted terrible)!
You could buy a two pack, a three pack, a family pack and even a few with replaceable ends. Some had stripes, some had polka dots, a few were see-through! My mind was dazzled at the selection. When I finally reached the end of the aisle, I settled on a three dollar Colgate with nylon bristles and no features.
Until I got home. Apparently this particular toothbrush had a knobby end that served as a ‘tongue’ brush. Since when did we brush out tongues? The thing was actually quite bothersome, as it tore at the inside of my mouth instead of cleaning my tongue. I fixed that though, using my trusty pocket knife, I shaved the gummy rubber off and sanded the head so that it was smooth. Hey, maybe I just invented yet another toothbrush variety. I should email Colgate!
What a piece of work to have clean teeth. Did I mention the package also had a coupon for a new mouthwash? The mouthwash comes in fifteen different flavours, ten different colours, ten different sizes? Oh God! Decisions, Decisions!