The train was late this morning, thank heavens! When I awoke, the sun blinded me for a minute, at least until I had time to wake up. The tracks were alive with every sort of insect. Even an army of ants passed by, carrying food on their backs. The sky looked like it was clouding over, I prayed it didn’t.
The entire forest around me was blasting with noise, especially directly over me, where a nearby spruce tree was home to a nest of young robins.
The only sound that compares to the birds is the noise from my stomach. I haven’t eaten in almost two days, and I can definitely feel it! Right now, gathering food is as impossible as leaving this morbid place, which is not going to happen anytime soon.
The day is passing ever so long, it seems like I was here forever. It was just a few days ago that I was walking hand in hand with the farmer’s daughter, so in love. I don’t understand what was so bad about flirting with her sister. I can’t believe her dad was as pissed as he was. I can’t believe he did this to me.
Wow! Did I pass out again? It is dark now; the buzzing of mosquitoes is almost as annoying as their bite. My face itches, but I am unable to scratch. This is only part of my pain; the rest will come eventually.
The entire forest has gone black. The sky is cold and desolate, not even one star shining. This leaves only the droning sounds of absolute silence to drive me insane. Wait, I think I see a light in the distance, a light and a noise. ‘Clickety Clack, Clickety Clack” …the last sounds I will ever hear!
A loud whistle sounds to alert me to move, but with my arms bound to the tracks, I cannot move. God help me!
———————-
this is my entry into this week’s Trifecta Challenge. The word this week is LIGHT. I hope you enjoyed this piece.
Oh wow hahaha I didn’t know he was on the train tracks until the very end! That makes for a great second read-through once you know what’s going on! I love it (:
Thanks for reading my twisted little tale
I kept wondering why you opened with a train..I love this!
Don;t mess with daddy’s little girls, especially both of them at the same time. I can see the logic in this treatment, even if it is abhorrent.
This was so well-written! Never saw the ending coming…unfortunately he knows the train is….!
Old school wild west! nice.
Poor guy, Good job writing. You delivered a lot.
Wow, you built that tension and left us hanging! What is going to happen?
I didn’t want to give it away, rather I left it to the readers to figure out what came next. Hint: Squish
oh, that was a shocker to find out he was on the tracks!
Hell hath no fury like a scorned woman-or her father! This was gripping!
Ooops I can’t say he’ll learn from his lesson.— Loved the twist.
A master of the surprise ending.
Thanks for the comment!
Very cool! Well done…
I too, really didn’t see that train coming… great writing.
That’s a scary little twist. Poor guy. I guess that’s what he gets for cheating.
Good one!
Dang! Poor guy. Farmers are not known to be thinkers, but they do take action. Nicely done!
Oh dear! What a way to go. Nice job building tension about where he was and what fate was awaiting him. Well done!
I was wondering why it was he was waiting for the train at the beginning – I was asking myself, after the girls and their dad was mentioned – did he leave him out in the middle of nowhere? Well, I guess he did! I read an entry for 100 Word Challenge that this would almost fit right along with – in fact, it probably could work out perfectly! Nice job!
Love that he was holding hands with “the farmer’s daughter”. He’s fine just where he is!
Like an old school cliffhanger but with modern touches and well crafted beginning. solid piece.
Surprise!
haha i loved the twist at the end! flirting with a girl and her sister at the same time? unacceptable.
Okay, so I’m going to put it out there – until the end, I thought he was hung as a scarecrow. So that ending was a total twist. Loved it!
when I said that he watched ants walking by, I figured that someone would realize that he was on the ground…thanks for the comment, I appreciate that you took the time to read my story
Enjoyed it immensely!. I paused at the ants walking by, but still didn’t get the twist until the light.
glad you enjoyed it! 🙂