My Uncle and the ticket

Back when I was a kid, I spent a lot of time with my uncles.  God Knows I had enough of them! My mom had eleven brothers and sisters, and so did my dad, so you can imagine how having eleven uncles, eleven  aunts, and over 66 first cousins can add up to lots of family members.

My uncle had offered to take me and my cousin fishing. He showed up in dad’s driveway one morning with his old truck. I used to think he had that truck for a hundred years, and it looked that old too.

It was a ’64 Chevy pickup. The box long since rusted and fallen off, my uncle didn’t worry, he simply made a new box out of some old scrap lumber he had. It didn’t look too bad, so he left it like that. The ignition switch never took a key. I found this really funny when I was a kid. He simply tied two wires together to get it going. He explained that we would be going to his favorite fishing spot, and maybe pick some blueberries on the way home. Mom agreed, but he had to have me back for five o’clock.

As we drove down the highway, my uncle sang traditional Newfoundland songs. Despite the fact that he couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket, we didn’t care. Maybe it was the fact that he enjoyed the ride almost as much as we did; maybe it was because of the ice cream he had bought us to eat along  the trip.

My uncle was always a comical character, and on this particular trip, he proved it. As he sped down the highway, a cop came up behind us with flashing lights. My uncle paid no attention and kept driving. When the cop passed us, he hauled us over. I still remember what happened to this day.

“You were going kind of fast!” said the cop.

“Was I? I didn’t notice, how fast was I going?” My uncle replied.

“You don’t know how fast you were going? Weren’t you paying attention to your speedometer?” the cop asked.

“That thing never worked in years. I mostly drive behind other cars, and keep the same speed as they do, but nobody on the road today” he said.

“Well sir, you were going eighty miles per hour!” The limit here is sixty!” the frustrated cop warned.

“That’s impossible! That can’t be!” “My truck can’t go eighty miles in an hour. It would break down  first!”

The cop started laughing, and so did my uncle, and the cop actually tore up the ticket. “That’s the best one I heard all  day!” said the cop.

My uncle breathed a sigh of relief and we continued on to his favorite fishing spot. He had us back on time, and we had a great day.

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