Monotone Mike

Monotone Mike was my history teacher back in grade school. The guy would come to class and bore us to death each day. I am not kidding about the boredom, no matter what his mood, what the topic, whether he was in a good mood or if he was pissed, he always spoke in the same tone.

Mike didn’t write notes on the blackboard, choosing to recite the notes while we wrote them. Although this may have sounded like a great plan, most of us never made it through the lesson. You could literally hear people’s heads hitting their desks as they fell fast asleep. I was no different. I doubt that I managed to make it through even one of his classes.

I did the music for a retirement party for a few old teachers the other week. I was surprised to find that Mike was one of the teachers who finally retired. I imagined the writing on the plaque.

‘To Mike, the man responsible for many days of good sleep’

The man  sure aged. At 67 years old, he looked 90 or more. He never stayed for the dance, claiming that he had to go home and sleep. I guess that all those years of helping us sleep (in class), he grew tired.


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