Facebook request!

Facebook originally started out as a method of staying in touch, adding a few family pictures, and maybe having a chat with friends you haven’t seen in a long time. What it has become is quite the opposite.

Nowadays Facebook is a means for bullies to go worldwide. Facebook is a way to show just how drunk a person can get while their friends take pictures of them. Facebook is also a way to gossip about others so you don’t have to look them in the face afterwards. Below is a list of dont’s for facebook users. Please read and heed.

  1. For the love of God, don’t post pictures of your half naked wife. You may be turned on by those pictures, but there is something about a 64 year old woman half naked that doesn’t exactly stir up the same emotions with your ‘friends’ as they do for you.
  2. While on the naked picture routine, also refrain from posting almost naked pictures of yourself. You aren’t exactly Mr. Universe, and those gigantic hanging ‘moobs’ (man boobs) are definitely not sexy.
  3. Pictures of your dog fornicating are not tasteful, nor are they funny. Give your dog some privacy and show a little respect….and for the love of God, separate those two, there is just something not right with the mating of a Great Dane and a Chihuahua…talk about rape.
  4. This one is for all the under-aged drinkers out there. Taking pictures of yourself while drinking beer and other liquor and then posting them on Facebook is a good way to get caught. Get a brain! Another note here. If you are a professional (lawyer, judge, social worker, school teacher…Minister…the list goes on), please refrain from posting pictures of you intoxicated and drinking. You are in a position of power and respect, and this will do nothing other than help you lose respect.
  5. Same goes for drug users. If you want to spend your early thirties in a jail cell with a 400 lb man named Bubba who has a passion for new meat, that is up to you; if not, don’t post pictures of yourself snorting cocaine or smoking a joint. Cops do use facebook you know.
  6. For those who post status messages about everything from the fact that they just took a piss to their opinion on your haircut, nobody wants to know. I seen one missus whose FB status changed from “experiencing pain in the groin” to “feeling better since I peed”…too much information guys. Please!
  7. Nowadays it is all the rage to join Classified facebook pages. This is where people sell items usually left for garage sales. Some even try to sell cars. This is becoming an issue when ‘car experts’ who have no knowledge about cars and also have no money take the time to comment on the ads, stating how those items are not really worth the money. If you don’t want to buy the item, shut the hell up.
  8. Posting pictures of your last vacation in Cancun can be both tasteful and not so tasteful. A picture of you and your hubby walking on a beach is okay, but a picture of you squeezing into a bikini so small that it virtually disappears once you put it on leaves a little too much to the imagination….and also helps bring up yesterday’s supper at the same time.  You are not 17 anymore,and this proves it. Just as spandex should have a weight and age limit, so do those tiny string bikinis.
  9. Using vulgar language in your status messages will get you kicked off my friend’s list. I don’t care if you think using the ‘F’ word is funny, many kids are around when I have facebook up, and I don’t want them learning anything they haven’t already heard on the school bus.
  10. Uncle Fred, I know you love playing those little games on Facebook, but for the love of all that is holy, stop sending me requests. I don’t have time to play pin the tail on the president, nor do I think that farming games are fun.
  11. Finally, Please, (I am begging you here), Don’t find old embarrassing pictures of me from high school and tag them so that the whole world sees them. No permission should mean no permission. While you are at it, please refrain from taking pictures of me (and other people) without their permission and displaying them on facebook. This should be illegal.

3 thoughts on “Facebook request!

  1. Great list, SnB.
    But I think you missed the true purpose of FB: For them to mine as much data as possible off of you and make as much money as they possibly can.

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