Life is funny: Part III: The Truth about men

We are men, we fuck up. Its in our genes to fuck up.There, I said it. Now the story behind the theory:

Life is funny.

I once dated this woman, she was a larger woman, but a beautiful woman. She used to ask me all the time “Do I look fat in this dress?”

What did I say?  I say one minute, and I call a friend.

Men aren’t like women. We don’t give other guys good advice. That way, if his woman splits with him, we are fair game. dog eat dog.

“Tell her you like fat women”

I took his advice.

Boom! Next week, my friend is dating her. Dog eat dog I guess. I think he married her. Now she is huge and he calls me all the time.

“How do I get her to lose weight? She is over 400lbs now!” he pleads to me.

“I thought you liked fat women” I say, with sweet revenge.”

“He he he…I just told you that so I could get her for myself”

Lesson learned, get better friends.

But we don’t, because we are men, and we fuck up, it’s in our jeans.

No typo there, it is in our jeans.  we think with our penis, its a fact.

That little guy down there dictates how we choose to live our lives. Take for instance the players? They don’t think with the head with the brain in it, they think with the other head, the ruthless head.

Players spend their entire lives finding sex partners, they don’t think, they don’t have to. All they want is sex. Now what head do you think is doing the thinking on this one? That’s right, the little guy (well, not little, but not as big as the one with the so-called brain, that’s for sure). “Feed me feed me” says the little head, and players obey. No questions, they just obey.

This is why we fuck up. We have two different heads talking at the same time. Three when our ladies are talking to us. It’s not selective hearing, it is just that too many people are talking at the same time. One head tells us to say “The dress looks great on you”, while the little head is telling us to get rid of the dress and have sex, and the lady is looking for some sort of answer that doesn’t hurt her feelings, but yet is honest. No wonder we fuck up. Who could blame us?

“Does this dress make me look fat”

“That dress does you no justice, now take it off and let’s make love”

Damn, the little head won again!


2 thoughts on “Life is funny: Part III: The Truth about men

  1. I like that answer, though. That’s right up there with one time when I was dating a guy and I asked him, “What do you think of this dress?” And he said “It would look great crumpled up on the floor.” That’s really all women want to hear, as far as I’m concerned.

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