Me and the missus just came from the Amusement Park. Well, not actually a park, as the only Amusement park we have here is a traveling one that shows up in late August for a week, and makes a small fortune everywhere it goes. They have ‘specials’ for kids that allow them five hours of rides for only $39.99. That’s right, for less than $40, kids can ride for five full hours.
It doesn’t work that way though, as the line-ups for the rides take longer than the rides themselves. The rides, now that is a topic worthy of an entire post themselves. Most of the rides are over thirty years old, and couple that with the fact that they are taken apart and put together each time the ‘Fair’ (That is what the Amusement Park is called over here, although some call it the Circus??) arrives in a town. They were here since Monday and already the trucks are parked on the lot outside waiting to haul the fair to the next location.
And the ‘Carnies’…The people who work for the traveling amusement park. Most of them are in their late fifties and VERY OVERWEIGHT! I expected to see at least two heart attacks while we were there, as the guy who worked most of our favorite rides feasted on deep fried ‘chips’ the entire time we seen him, that was when he wasn’t cleaning vomit from the seats of the rides and from the pavement below the rides.
They should rename some of those rides. ‘Tilt-a-Whirl’ should be renamed ‘Tilt-a-Hurl’, as a crowd of kids ended up losing whatever junk food they ate prior to the ride. Luckily we sat a few cars from them, and we managed to avoid any unpleasant food items that flew through the air…thank Heavens. The ‘Tip-Top’ should be renamed “Please Stop’ as the ride is so old it clanks and bangs, leaving doubts that anyone will survive the ride.
Those old rides may seem pretty tame to anyone who is used to state of the art Amusement parks, but for Newfoundland, this is as exciting as it gets, which is fine with me. I hate paying to get sick. If I was going to do that, I would drop into the local bar and drink myself senseless, the next morning I would feel the same sensations I get from those rides anyway.
The cost of the rides is another thing. This year they had a new promotion. Tickets only cost $1.35 each. The catch? Each ride cost three tickets. The guy who sold us our tickets had to get out a pencil and paper to figure out how many tickets we would receive for $40. The sign next to the ticket booth is also pretty funny.
“No refunds on tickets, even if you get sick or it rains. We do not have weather forecasting devices on hand, so we have no way of determining whether it will rain after you buy your tickets”…pretty sketchy, don’t you think?
Oh well, my lady enjoyed the rides, and it is only once a year. The little feller (our son) decided to sit this one out for this year. He finds the rides ‘boring’…ah kids…