understanding it all

My uncle died this morning. We all rushed home to be with family. Work would have to wait.  When I got to his house, I was surprised to find the house empty. Nobody home.  Not a car in the driveway, nothing.

I dropped by my parent’s house and had a chat. Dad said that my uncle made it clear prior to even going to the hospital that when he died (not ‘if’ he died) he did not want a funeral, a wake, a crowd of people crying over him or missing work or anything of the nature. He asked to be cremated, his ashes spread in the woods, and everyone getting on with their lives. The car would go to his youngest daughter, the house to his youngest son. The daughter would stay with her mom as long as she could afford it.

Apparently my Uncle had it all figured out; or did he? What about those left to pick up the pieces? What about those who question why he had to die in the first place? Is it fair to write him off, write his life off as if it never happened in the first place? What about closure? His wife is left to wake up alone for the rest of her days. At 78, it is doubtful that she remarries, why is it that he had all the say?

I am not saying that a lavish funeral is required, but the family should at least gather to mourn one who was a great dad to them all, a great husband, and a great friend.

Do we dare question decisions of a dying man? I think not.

One thought on “understanding it all

  1. That’s the rub, isn’t it? What the departed want of us, and what we as people need.
    Condolences to you and yours, SnB. Even without the ceremonies, I guess you’ll all be talking about him in the near future. I hope that brings you all some comfort.

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