No No, Stop being nice to me!

Those people! They just don’t get it.

You know the ones I am talking about, the ones who rather be mean than nice. Those people! They have more enemies than friends, and that seems to be what makes them happy. Happy? They are never happy, they are just mean.

Back a few years ago I worked at an electronics store, and we had some customers who just did not want friends. Those people!  You greet them with a “Good Morning” and they return a grumpy grin that they hope will make you go away!

What makes people like that tick? Can they actually want you to go away, or is this just a wall they have built that seems to be working for them?

While I was a Radio Shack employee, I had a special weapon for those sour pusses. I would be nice to them. Not just nice, I would go out of my way to treat them with a big smile and an even bigger “Have a nice day!” Want to piss off a sour puss? Treat them nice.

Those people! They are everywhere. At birthday parties too. That’s right, at birthday parties, where kiddies are popping balloons and having fun. But look out, one of the mom’s is a sour puss, and she is mean. PMS on parade I say. What do I do with them? Give ’em extra cake, that’s what.

At work! It’s true, sour pusses at school. What do I do? Buy ’em a cookie. Nobody turns down cafeteria cookies. They are that good that even sour pusses like em. Want to really piss off the school sour puss? Give ’em not only a cookie, but a rainbow cookie. “Why are you being so nice to me?” she asks. “I am trying to destroy you!” I say, gallantly!

Those people! They are our neighbors. What does a guy do when he has a sour puss neighbor? Shovel his driveway when he isn’t looking. That really got his gander.

I am on a sour puss brigade today. Armed with a bag of Rainbow Chip cookies, freshly baked and steaming hot, I plan to do battle with any grumpy grump that I can find. Sourpusses and grumpy grumps beware!

5 thoughts on “No No, Stop being nice to me!

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