Christmas visitor’s checklist

It’s Christmastime, and with that, there are bound to be a few places I will be invited to, for supper, drinks, and the rest of the occasions that surround Christmas. Here are a few tips to assist even the novice visitor to save embarrassment on your next visit:

  1. First thing to do is scout out the bathroom, making yourself knowledgeable to where the toilet paper is, and how much is available. Nothing worst than finding yourself without enough of the stuff when you really need it.
  2. While in the bathroom, look for the plunger. This will come in handy when you use too much toilet paper and plug the toilet. Believe me, it gets embarrassing when the water from the toilet follows you out of the bathroom
  3. Another bathroom tip: Ask the homeowner which towel you are allowed to use. Most bathrooms are adorned with decorator towels and facecloths, and surprisingly, people get annoyed when you use those items to wipe your greasy hands.
  4. Conversation. Know exactly when to shut up and to which topics you can or shouldn’t talk about. If you are visiting a household where crosses and holy pictures adorn every wall, try not to discuss your current views of religion or the church. Some people get upset when you dis the pope.
  5. Television privileges of guests. Make sure that you don’t get too comfortable, grab the remote and tune in to your favorite sporting event while visiting a guest. Sometimes, home owners get upset when you turn off their programs and you choose to watch a hockey or football game. Go figure!
  6. Food. Nothing worst than the house guest who eats everything in sight. Only eat what you are given, and if asked if you are still hungry after the third course meal, probably wait until you get home to chow down. We once had a house guest eat everything in the fridge, and then ask if we had more food.
  7. Music. Although everyone enjoys music, if your host has background music on, try not to choose to tune into your favorite rap music station and share it with your hosts.
  8. Table manners. Believe it or not, not everyone approves of letting out a good belch or fart after a satisfying meal. Some may not be impressed at this behavior. If, by accident you fart, glare at the person seated next to you and hold your nose while quickly exiting their home. Do not return.
  9. Kids. If your kids act like wild savages, leave them with a sitter. Nothing more annoying than savage kids disrupting interesting adult conversation.
  10. Texting. This is not only annoying, it is downright disrespectful. Especially if you text funny things about your host, and then laugh loudly while reading responses. Leave your cell phone home if you plan to visit, follow the above rules, and you may just get invited back to that person’s home.

One thought on “Christmas visitor’s checklist

  1. I agree with all of these, but none more than the texting. I think the next generation doesn’t get how rude it is to be speaking with someone just to have them stop and answer a text. I’m curious to see how international diplomacy meetings go twenty years from now.

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