Stories from the Good Humor Man

Glen is a friend of mine who can really tell a joke. He is the kind of guy who knows enough jokes to write a book, but instead, he uses them for status messages on Facebook. While some of his jokes are a bit tasteless, they are in fact, also very funny. I hate to admit it, but I check his Facebook page daily for a good laugh. Here is a Top ten list of Glen’s best one liners:

  1. I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
  2. Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
  3. If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong…
  4. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?
    They taste funny.
  5. What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
    The taste.
  6. GUY: Give me 3 packs of Trojan condoms please. CASHIER: Do you need a bag with that sir? Guy: Nawwww….. she’s not that ugly…..
  7. What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman?
    Sexual harassment.
    What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
    $3.99 a minute.
  8. Two old ladies are at the movies.
    “Psst,” says one old lady. “I think the guy next to me is beating off.”
    “What makes you say that?”
    “He’s using my hand.”
  9. I got a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said remove cap and push up bottom. I can barely walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells lovely.
  10. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

There you have it, the best of Glen…

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