Elmer and his new bride

Every day, bright and early, Elmer drove his beat up Ford Tempo to the Little Market store to see her. He was shy at first, hiding in the aisles and peeking a glance at her, and as time went on, he grew bold and even approached her. He never said anything of course, that would be too difficult for him. He simply stared into her deep blue eyes.

Elmer was never what you would call a smooth talker when it came to women. At fifty-four, he still lived with his mother. Some said that the two of them were more than mother and son, but that could have just been a rumor. You know how rumors start in small towns, especially when the person in the rumor is a guy like Elmer Gaudet.

Elmer never had a girl-friend, or even a friend in his entire life. A loner, he chose to keep to himself in the old Gaudet home deep in Louisiana, a home riddled with trouble in all of its 200 years of existence. His mother ruled the roost, and nobody knows what happened to his father. Some guess that he ran away from the madness that went on behind those huge wooden doors of the old house. Some say that Estelle Gaudet actually took the young man’s life after giving birth to her pride and joy. For this reason, she was known by the name ‘The Black Widow’. I guess growing up with a mother with that kind of reputation was probably the reason for Elmer’s weirdness.

Elmer continued to stalk the pretty blue eyed lady until the day his dear old mother left this world. The amazing thing was that despite the fact that he sought her for over ten years now, the pretty blued eyed creature who haunted Elmer’s dreams each night never seemed to age one day. Everyone figured that Miss Estelle’s last days were in preparation for a lifetime in a much hotter place. That’s what her neighbours hoped anyway. And then there was poor Elmer, alone in the world for the first time in his life. At sixty four, he was no spring chicken, but then again, it is never too late to meet a woman and make her your wife, is it?

Elmer’s urges seemed to be under control while his mother was alive, partially due to the fact that each night, Elmer cuddled against her side, holding her tight during his dreams of his sweet Angela. At least that is what he called her. In all the years that Elmer watched his pretty blue eyed princess, he never once asked her name.

When Elmer could no longer stand to sleep alone, he deducted a plan to steal  Angela away from that horrible job at the department store and take her home with him. He would adorn her with everything she ever dreamed, and make her his princess forever.

On this dark night, he prepared for the next day. Using a few blankets from his bed, he sewed the fabrics together to make a large bag, just big enough to totally cover the unsuspecting  Angela. In the morning, he was the first one in the store. He quickly approached  Angela, who seemed to be staring into dead space. He threw the bag over her body and using his strong arms, he ran for the door,  Angela in tow.

Alarms went off in the store and the police was called, but Elmer was lucky. He made it all the way back home before they had any idea to what had happened. Elmer wondered how it could have been so easy. No police chase, no running away, it was simple. If he had only realized this, he would have taken her much earlier.

That night, Elmer was in heaven. He held sweet Angela close to his side, amazed with her smooth lines and tight tummy. He legs were solid muscle, as were her arms. She had the body of a supermodel, and she was all his. He didn’t mind if she wasn’t responsive, that would come later. On this night he would enjoy her companionship and her presence  beside him where she belonged.

Poor  Angela. The store manager didn’t care if she was gone. He didn’t demand an area wide search by the police. There was no story in the newspaper and her kidnapping didn’t make the six o’clock news. The store manager simply went to the stock room, grabbed another mannequin,  dressed her in pretty clothes and stood her in the window where  Angela stood for over twenty years.

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2 Responses to Elmer and his new bride

  1. El Guapo says:

    About halfway through, I realized what was going on, and my reaction went from horrified to very amused.
    Nicely done, SnB.

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